Narcissistic relationship patterns can teach you where to stop, long after anyone has to correct you. Tony Overbay, LMFT, shares the 12th installment of the "Death by 1,000 Cuts" series from the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast (episode 167). Tony uses the image of an invisible fence to describe how…
What if one of the greatest gifts another person can offer you... is their calm? When we're babies, we can't regulate our own nervous systems. A calm parent picks us up and, without saying a word, communicates: "Until yours settles... you can borrow mine." That process is called co-regulation, and…
Do you only feel okay when everyone around you is okay? If someone is upset..you feel responsible. If someone is disappointed...you rush to fix it. If someone pulls away..your nervous system goes into overdrive. That's what I call other-validated intimacy. Your emotional state depends on everyone else's emotional state. The…
You can't forgive a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner—and you think that makes you a bad person. It doesn't. For anyone who's been on the receiving end of years of criticism, betrayal, or being subtly "nothinged" in a relationship, the well-meaning prescription to "just forgive and forget" can sting more…
For most of my life, I thought I understood emotions. I'm a therapist. I've spent years helping people navigate anxiety, trauma, relationships, and healing. But recently, something unexpected happened in my own therapy that completely changed the way I think about feelings. It started with what I jokingly called a…
What if the problem isn’t that you’re broken… but that you were taught to believe you are? In this clip from The Virtual Couch, therapist Tony Overbay explores the powerful difference between guilt and shame, why shame becomes an emotional operating system for so many people, and how early childhood…
Your memory has been turned—and the double agent is inside your own mind. After years in a relationship with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic, the damage isn't just that they rewrite history. It's that you stop trusting your own ability to know what happened. This episode unpacks confabulation—the unconscious, real-time…
I recently interviewed my friend, and "Love, ADHD" podcast host Julie De Jesus, about her experience interviewing Kevin Franke, husband of Ruby Franke. Before we talked about her interview, we were answering the question, “Are you ever bringing back the Love, ADHD podcast?” Our answer was "hopefully!" Later in the…
Hey everyone, welcome back! In this episode we'll dive deep into the world of narcissism, emotional immaturity, relationships, emotional immaturity, the complexities of narcissism, break down topics like trauma bonds, love bombing, bread crumbing, and the journey to self-love and authenticity. Whether you’re curious about attachment styles, navigating difficult relationships,…
Hey everyone, welcome back! In this episode we'll dive deep into the world of narcissism, emotional immaturity, relationships, emotional immaturity, the complexities of narcissism, break down topics like trauma bonds, love bombing, bread crumbing, and the journey to self-love and authenticity. Whether you’re curious about attachment styles, navigating difficult relationships,…
