Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)).
In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace.
Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity.
00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter
00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book
01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance
02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges
03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance
04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome
06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth
08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God
10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation
12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God
13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance
22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact
22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives
23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation
24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation
25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation
26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth
28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development
28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness
29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition
30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book
31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning
32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey
34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect
35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness
37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism
39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation
41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth
43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance
44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book
45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression
45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty
46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love
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